Have I achieved the real success- The success I have dreamt of

Having led a normal life for more than fifteen years, with no ups and downs, a sudden transition landed me amidst ambitions under whose weight I was crushed, and forbidden the right to live as myself. These aims and ambitions were for the society, and for the ones around me, but not for this soul talking to you.

I was initially swayed away towards these goals, for the world makes us believe the false to be the truth. It has the power to manipulate the brain in whichever way it likes to. Struggling day and night was tiresome, when one day I realized that the other paths could take me to the same destination, but in a relaxed way. I wished to go back, but the fear of losing time I have spent and the rejection that would most probably be in store for me, stopped me from doing it.

I continued, when one day, god, having invoked the softer corner of his heart, had sent to me a few mortals to stay with. I was unexperienced to understand that they would stay with me only for a few months and then diverge from me to their destined paths. Unable to understand the eternal truth, I had developed a strong liking, and a bond that is too difficult to be broken even today.

My aims seemed to be only a few inches away, and I cared not much about it for it had receded into the background. What I considered the important task and the goal of my life is to confine those mortals within my sphere of vision.

I was successful. Friendship gave me the happiness that I have never experienced in my life. I was into a new dimension of feelings that only my heart knows. I considered it to be the real life, the life of my dreams. Days passed and the friendship grew even stronger and so did the joy along with it.

Situations reached dramatic heights when one day, everything crashed down from heights of the peaks, down to the earth. My dreams were shattered into pieces. I was left all alone. My friends had left me.

Was I the cause for it? No, it wasn’t my mistake. Then, why is it that I have to face the consequences?

There was no one around me to give an assuring hand, holding with I have walked on all the roads that have passed me. I was helpless and carving for my friend. I could do no more than wipe the tears that were rolling down my cheeks.

There was no one to console me for no one knows that I was alone. What others saw in the days that followed was an illusion. The truth had buried itself, deep in my heart, for it liked the illusion, as its set goals were safer in it.

What was it to do? I could not question anyone about the mental trauma I was experiencing. Even if I gathered the courage on some occasions, I was given the reply of silence that spoke pages. I was unable to console myself, not an idea of what the future has in store for me.

But with a belief in destiny, I continued on the goal set initially for the society, for that was the only thing I could do. Uninterestingly, I continued, with a hope that what I wished for would be presented to me.

Finally, the day came and the goal for the society was to a certain extent a success, with a slight failure that I kept experiencing throughout my life. But the person whom I wanted to be by my side for ever had walked a great distance that I can never reach. I have failed in my life. What I wished for is out of my reach. The bond I have developed was too strong from my side to be broken.

What am I to do now? I wish to die.